It might be time to admit I’m just plain depressed

I’m tired of complaining and feeling depressed. The problem is, I’m not entirely sure what to do about it. I don’t believe in taking medication unless it’s absolutely necessary – and before anyone gets all pissed off at me, I’m not saying medication is unnecessary or inappropriate – it’s just not MY choice for most things.

Part of my depression is likely due to the situation at work. I’m mad at myself for investing so much of myself into a relationship that ended up being nowhere near as important as I thought – or as I made it, I guess. When I started this job over three years ago, I went to work for someone I knew. And someone I respected. Notice I’m speaking in the past tense.  I’m not someone who’s prone to kidding herself. I’ve gone through enough stuff to know myself and believe me, I’m still not sure what the hell happened. And the worst part is that I just can’t let it go.  I think the only way I can is to go somewhere else.

And that brings us to the other part of my recent issues.  For all the phone calls and emails I get telling me what a great resume I have, I’m still sitting here with no real prospects.  Today was really frustrating. I had a phone interview yesterday that went really well. So well in fact, the hiring manager wanted me to come in for an in-person interview later the same day. I wasn’t able to do that, but I told him I was on PTO today and could come in at any time.  He said he’d text me back with a time… Then late today I get a call from the consulting company telling me my resume was being “put on hold” while they interviewed another candidate.  WHAT? I’m confused.

This kind of thing has been happening a lot. Either they love me, but they don’t want to pay that kind of salary; they love me but oops I don’t have a degree; or they want me to work a crazy rotating shift that is (no offense) pretty far below my experience level and skill set. I mention that last one because I have been contacted a half dozen times about the SAME job, at UHG, that has a shift that’s four ten-hour days, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., four days off and the four ten-hour days again, but 7 p.m. to 7 a.m.  They’ve been trying to fill that one for about the last two years.  For sure the last six months because that’s how long they’ve been calling me!  And apparently Target doesn’t like to hire it’s own… or something.  Can’t even get a callback from that place.  And I really did leave on good terms.  Or at least I thought I did.  Now I’m even questioning that!

There’s really no wrap-up for this post. I’m depressed, and I need a new job. That is all.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. claudia
    May 26, 2012 @ 07:21:50

    oh man, I’m sorry, I haven’t checked my reader in a few days… we need to do something fun – although that is a temporary fix. Sorry about the job thing 😦 Dan, who almost always gets a job when he applies (consider the nature of his industry though) has also met lately with no call backs, or interest to interview but then no one calls… and the jobs are still open! I think the state of our lovely economy has something to do with don’t you? You are a thoughtful and diligent worker Michele, too bad these days everyone is so used to NOT getting that that they miss seeing the value when it’s right in front of them!


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