It might be time to admit I’m just plain depressed
24 May 2012 1 Comment
I’m tired of complaining and feeling depressed. The problem is, I’m not entirely sure what to do about it. I don’t believe in taking medication unless it’s absolutely necessary – and before anyone gets all pissed off at me, I’m not saying medication is unnecessary or inappropriate – it’s just not MY choice for most things.
Part of my depression is likely due to the situation at work. I’m mad at myself for investing so much of myself into a relationship that ended up being nowhere near as important as I thought – or as I made it, I guess. When I started this job over three years ago, I went to work for someone I knew. And someone I respected. Notice I’m speaking in the past tense. I’m not someone who’s prone to kidding herself. I’ve gone through enough stuff to know myself and believe me, I’m still not sure what the hell happened. And the worst part is that I just can’t let it go. I think the only way I can is to go somewhere else.
And that brings us to the other part of my recent issues. For all the phone calls and emails I get telling me what a great resume I have, I’m still sitting here with no real prospects. Today was really frustrating. I had a phone interview yesterday that went really well. So well in fact, the hiring manager wanted me to come in for an in-person interview later the same day. I wasn’t able to do that, but I told him I was on PTO today and could come in at any time. He said he’d text me back with a time… Then late today I get a call from the consulting company telling me my resume was being “put on hold” while they interviewed another candidate. WHAT? I’m confused.
This kind of thing has been happening a lot. Either they love me, but they don’t want to pay that kind of salary; they love me but oops I don’t have a degree; or they want me to work a crazy rotating shift that is (no offense) pretty far below my experience level and skill set. I mention that last one because I have been contacted a half dozen times about the SAME job, at UHG, that has a shift that’s four ten-hour days, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., four days off and the four ten-hour days again, but 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. They’ve been trying to fill that one for about the last two years. For sure the last six months because that’s how long they’ve been calling me! And apparently Target doesn’t like to hire it’s own… or something. Can’t even get a callback from that place. And I really did leave on good terms. Or at least I thought I did. Now I’m even questioning that!
There’s really no wrap-up for this post. I’m depressed, and I need a new job. That is all.
Fingers Crossed…
22 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
I was called for jury duty this week and next. So far I haven’t had to report – although I did have a close call on Tuesday. Everyone I work with thinks I’ll get tossed out with the first question or two. I have joked about spilling my purse so my conceal carry permit and pocket Constitution fall out, but I wasn’t serious (at least I don’t think I was…). I may be a tad outspoken so I doubt I would end up on a jury, too. The only benefit to the whole thing was the possibility of time away from work.
Things continue to be very stressful at work. I still feel like I got the shaft and my confidence is severely shaken. I need to learn to shut up more and stop letting my boss in on my true feelings. I should have learned that over-sharing just causes problems based on this experience but sometimes I just can’t seem to help myself!
Anyway, there is one possible bright spot. We’re running out of room so I may get to work from home at least one day a week. I picked Wednesday so I could attend weekly lunch with Mike, Gary, Scott and Dennis. Plus Wednesdays tend to be slower than the other days. I would also love to work from home on Friday but Christine beat me to that day. LOL.
Since I thought I was going to have to report to the courthouse on Tuesday, I worked from home. I set up my own office in the bedroom a while back. I LOVE Mike’s computer but I hate his office so this was a much better idea. Plus he doesn’t always want to share. LOL.
Here’s a photo of one of my favorite parts of working from home. I can have coffee by just walking around the corner and pushing a button. Plus – I don’t have to walk past my former boss’ office (even though his door is closed 99% of the time!)
Jury Duty Tomorrow?
19 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
We’ve lived in our house (and Anoka County) for a long damn time. I finally got a summons for Jury Duty last month. My “commitment” started today but I didn’t have to report. Well, that may be changing tomorrow. I called in just after 4:30 and the message stated I may be required to show up tomorrow afternoon for orientation. But I won’t know until 10:30.
Now I get that this process is much better than it used to be. I don’t have to just go sit there until they decide they do or don’t need me… but I only have a 15 minute window tomorrow to call and if I have to report, I need to be there by 12:15 I believe. So, what, people don’t eat lunch when they serve on juries???
I’ll be working from home in the morning to make getting to the courthouse easier if I have to show up in the afternoon. I’m guessing I’ll have to show up there in the next two days either way…
Oh yeah, this happened
17 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
I don’t think people leave jobs because they don’t like the work. They leave jobs because people in management positions do things that cause extreme frustration and those same people just brush off the frustration. Case in point:
I knew my cube was going to be cut in half… only because I happened to run into the person from Facilities speaking with our Admin (and noticed she had a blueprint in her hand). On Tuesday of the previous week I was informed by the new guy that shares a wall with me that they were going to be cutting my cube in half soon. The very next day (while I was working from home) I got a call from James, who shares the other wall with me, informing me they were doing the work the next day starting at 8:30 a.m. At no time had I actually been approached or notified of this work directly. So the next morning I raced around clearing out my cube before 8:30 a.m. Only to have my former boss put a stop to the work TEN MINUTES before they were supposed to start. Not only was this a huge issue for me since I spent most of the previous hour cleaning up and packing up, but the other two guys worked from home and made other arrangements for their laptops to remain plugged in somewhere since the power to all three cubes was supposed to be shut off. And what was Bossman’s response to this? He said – and I quote – “we’ll just roll with it”. Um, yeah, who’s going to do that then?
Not that it will do any good, but in protest I left pretty much everything packed and brought it home. I’m not being a big baby over one thing… this was kind of the last straw in a long line of annoying things that have just been passed off as being unimportant. I’m so done…
And the reason the work was stopped? Because another team is moving off the floor so there will be plenty of cubes available in a couple of weeks. So I’m going to be moving again soon. At least this time my few personal items will fit into my purse!
I have trouble believing in things just because others do…
16 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
I tend to read a lot of books. My Kindle has hundreds of books in it. I’ve read a lot of them… I’m currently reading a book called “Climate of Corruption” by Larry Bell. It’s about Global Warming/Climate Change – and what a scam it is. Before this book, I read “The Creature from Jekyll Island” which is about the Federal Reserve.
So, what’s my point here? My point is that I do my research. If someone told me the moon was made of green cheese, I wouldn’t just believe them. I would read books about the moon, I would research the moon on the internet. I would look at both sides of the issue and make an informed decision.
Why don’t more people question things that seem preposterous? I certainly would…
Sundays are pretty much all about food…
04 Mar 2012 1 Comment
My favorite things about Sundays are sleeping in, and Mike making breakfast. Sometimes I try to do my part by making a late lunch/early dinner. Today is was a variation of Pioneer Woman’s shredded pork. She uses something spicy in hers. If you’ve known me for more than 5 minutes, you know ketchup is a little over the top for me…
So I skipped the chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, but I followed most of the rest of her recipe, found here:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/03/spicy-dr-pepper-shredded-pork/
We made soft tacos and had rice to go with it.
I’m fairly creative when it comes to cooking… meaning I will try stuff and adjust recipes. Sometimes it works and sometimes, well, not so much. Today I did something so simple it was shocking and I feel like an idiot for not realizing this years ago. I made rice-in-a-bag (because that’s what I had on hand), but I wanted Spanish rice. So, I added half a jar of salsa to the cooked rice. DUH – instant Spanish Rice! And none of the chemical powder! No pictures of that, because I didn’t think of it at the time… and now it’s mostly gone. LOL.
Inadvertent Snow Day?
29 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
I took the day off. It was either that or end up in jail. Because I was contemplating doing away with some people at work. Pretty sure that’s a violation of at least one rule.
I had planned to sleep in and then go to lunch with Mike, Gary, Scott and Dennis.
Then this happened:
And Mike had to go to work. And he got stuck at the end of the street. He came back home to get me and the shovel. Luckily (for me) Dennis showed up at about that time to plow our driveway (I LOVE YOU, Dennis!). I sent him to the end of the street to dig Mike out and went back to bed. Okay, not really… although I am sitting in bed as I type this. I was dressed and awake so I made myself coffee, put my out-of-office on my work email, and turned on the ID channel. I don’t plan to move from this spot except to refresh my coffee. The end.
Sick again…
16 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
I can’t decide if I’ve still got the same crud I’ve had since the beginning of January or if this is something new. I ended up working from home the past two days. And why didn’t I just call in sick to work you’re probably asking yourself (my imaginary readers)… well, that would be because someone decided we will absolutely roll out a new application this weekend. In spite of pretty much the whole team expressing concerns.
At least Mike is going to get my Dad’s groceries for me. Because, yeah, have to work Saturday, too.
The end of an era… sort of
12 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
No, I’m not making a reference to Whitney Houston. It’s sad that another talented person died too soon. But that’s not at all what this post is about.
Mike isn’t working Saturday afternoons anymore. Yeah, kind of a let-down after that opening, huh?
He’s been working a split shift on Saturday for years. Which means I plan all my errands around his being gone. Now he’s THERE. It’s kind of weird… Yesterday he went with me to get groceries. I plan my Saturdays around his nap time. What the heck am I supposed to do now???
I’m not complaining about having him home. I just need some adjustment time! Now he’s going to realize I actually spend Saturday afternoon in my chair watching ID. I may actually have to do a load of laundry or something. Dang it…
WTH Karma?
03 Feb 2012 1 Comment
in Stuff that's just stuff Tags: random crap, stuff that could be bad for my career
I haven’t posted anything in a while, I know. Partly because things have been ridiculously busy and totally sucking canal water. I’m talking about work of course. Things at home are fine, although Mike’s been sick lately (and I was sick before that).
I sort of got demoted at work. I’m pretty self-aware and not into deluding myself, so when I tell you I have no idea why, you can believe it. I was having a challenge with someone on my team, who eventually left for another area. But that was dealt with so if it was a result of how I handled the situation, then the timing is awfully suspect.
I’m not going to go into details since you never know what from the interwebs is going to come back and haunt you some day… let me just say I feel betrayed and downright sad because I pretty much loved my boss at one point and now I can hardly stand to say hello to him.
So, I posted my resume on monster and then on career builder. Let me just tell you that’s been a barrel of laughs. Apparently the thing I’m most qualified to do is sell insurance. Or so all the email replies would have you think. I have gotten a few real responses… mostly for the SAME JOB. Which would be awesome (because it looks like a good fit on paper) but it’s all the way over in flipping Woodbury (the very end of Woodbury – pretty much the part that almost touches Wisconsin). And that is freaking me out. I’m working with a couple of recruiters so cross your fingers that something worthwhile comes along. Because I have scissors and I may have to stab someone with them and I think that could be harmful to my career… maybe.
